Ancestry

During Christmas, i got ancestry for a present, and it’s coming in a week. I am terrified about the results that ill get. Me being a light-skinned Hispanic/Latino people think they can tell me who i am and my history. From what I know is my grandpa from my mom’s side is from spain.wich is why I’m light-skinned and have hazel eyes, and my mother has blue eyes and white skin. My grandma from my mom’s side and both grandparents on my dad’s side are from Mexico. My dad’s family is from Reynosa Tamaulipas, Mexico. I hate people telling me that I’m so white or that I am white, nothing against white people, but the fact that I have to handle that every day of my life.
I rep my culture no matter what. Its mine my history my blood and for someone to act as they know makes me mad.I’m not fluent in Spanish i understand more then I speak my parents didn’t teach me because i have seven siblings, and we all have different mom or dads, so it’s complicated. My dad and my mom were never together growing up because he left us. Therefore my mom wasn’t worried about teaching it to us. I grew up around a Latino household and family my entire life. Everyone spoke Spanish; all my grandparents didn’t know English. I listened to Mexican music, and I know the culture because it’s my culture. The thing is yes; I am not fluent, but I can speak it one thing is that I’m self-conscious about speaking in front of people. The fact is everyone drills into people’s head that if your not fluent in Spanish your not a Latino/Hispanic, but that’s wrong we have the same blood just different circumstances. Unlike almost all Latino/Hispanic households, I wasn’t raised with a mom and dad at home or a regular family; no, my siblings had to visit there dad, and my siblings have different families. Anyways I can read, speak, write, and understand just not fluently. I know more than I speak. Plus, when it comes to that, which is a hard subject for me, I shut down. Like my friends, they know my story, yet they still put me down and say I’m not a real Latino/Hispanic or say that I’m white. That’s why I don’t speak it because i get tared down for it. What if I say something wrong then what. The people I trust will hear me speak it because I’m comfortable with them. Everyone else doesn’t because i know how they are. All my friends do this, and it hurts, but that’s life.